RETREAT!

the shadow...
it beckoned, I want you it said...
into the night she traveled...
her heart still in dread....

she froze, she bleed...
Oh! her eyes!they looked dead...
she seemed bleak and unkept...
yet she walked... frozen ... straight ahead...

there all of a sudden...
a glimmer...
Oh! it shimmered...
the shadow seemed thining...consumed and grinning...

She reached... she screamed...
she wailed... and cooed...
the shadow is gone... the glimmer only strong...
dancing a wild jig... as if in taunt...

A decoy i see...
the mischeif... No!!
it is felony....
Oh! the cheat... (growls)... that was very neat...

pained and deserted...
she walked in defeat...
green and grounded...
vanity asleep...

weakened and unwanted...
sanity too weak...
grovelling and grieving...
forced... she retreats...

Into the night...
drifting by...
She retreats back...
the breeze and her sigh...

THE MORNING AFTER.

:)

Great day. Well! ummm. Lets us hope now.

Yeah! great day because i intend to make one out of it. So it must be.

So...

Rule no. 1 - Do not let anything or anyone get to you. (Now that is not hard at all is it?... Considering the company that i keep.)

*blinks* *yawns* ...

Well the post is for conviction...

I'll fill in more in the evening.

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FEELING FUCKED.


Do I ever get enough of my feelings. Really! they rule me. Logic somehow just whooshes past me. I mean I know it all... Black and white. It is just that my heart just rules my actions more then my head does. And I still go by it even though I know at the end i am fucked. I mean I will regret it of course. I chose it... it is me. So yeah! I know vaugley where i am heading to.

This is an extract from one of my mails, and Yes! that is what it is.

" And yes life is simple. I know. I just took the wrong route. Because i could see you somewhere down the road. it is going to be tough for me to travel. But hell! I love the price I pay for my prize. :) Please be umm tempting. I left a lot for i chose the hard road. Just dont make it tougher then it already is. Okay? I am typing this in 'cause i am really feeling like i am being kicked in the arse from all ends. I lost some friends, some better people, some hopes just because You mean a lot to me. Just dont hurt me then necessary. alright???"

A convo with someone I love.


"If i had to leave I would have a long while back and my staying with you please do not consider it to be my weakness. I love you. That is the only reason that i am still here. Not that i can not live by myself, but I know I can not see you hurt because of me. I just love you"

This what is termed as feelings fucked.
You just throw your senses away for love. Called a fool and still be proud of it. Is it not headlessness.


Some of the most Important people in my life.

~ Dad.
~Mom.
~Bro.
~Chotu (with much loathing)
~Bubbly
~Anne (my wife *winks* let us not let my mum catch us in bed again *giggles*)


Except for the last two. The rest screw my life.


Aw. But If anything will go wrong, it will... So you ask me why the fight? *leans closer* well!! Buddy that is because I am Human and I have Feelings (untamed more like).

Pinnacle to Dust. *cringes with broken bones and fractured ribs*

However, Love I must. *well! I will... Who the **** do you think you are to tell me not to*

Fractured Hope and butchered Trust. *the soul cries... Lord hear my prayer*

However, Love I must. *well! I must. I will*

Call it hope or momentary Lust. *talks to the mind*

However, Love I must.

Reason Lost, Feelings Frost. *Touches heart With eyes cast down.*

However, Love I must. *Blinks tears away*

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Feeling: In Love? Dumped? Bleh? WTF? Ha!Yeah... Right!!

or... No or strike that off! I am feeling all of it. And yet I laugh. Can Someone Explain that. *Blinks* It is Like what I feel (Love... Umm as if that is the only feeling available in town! what 'bout anger, hatred, vengeance?? *hmm thinks deeply* they all seem nullified... Ow! screw you for that.)... Is totally independent to all other feelings.


Ah! Crap never mind. It is definitely my best worst post by far. But Who the Hell cares.


Ow! Weekend. I am going to the Home for the Aged. :). I hope to make Friends.