Changes.

Well!
How should one react to changes. And it seems like a habit with them. They try to stifle people up with their abundance by falling all at the same time. IDK. Sometime or rather it is often my doing that bring about these changes. But sometimes much as I hate it, it is very much out of my hands.

For man proposes, but God disposes; neither is the way of man in his own hands".


Gee!!! Does anyone believe in that. IDK. Guess I do need to give a thinking 'bout it afterall.





I am rich on experience this past two weeks. Really rich. Some beautiful... some trash- most trash actually... but yeah! - *rolls eyes* you LEARN. And what exactly did i learn *snaps fingers* BITCH! Dreams are a bedtime entertainment. Never let it consume you during day. But *resigned smile* What is the fun in life without all the blunders. Some call it screwing... I call it spice (or atleast I have to.. you know try and be sportive 'bout 'em)


WHAT DO WE LEARN FROM THIS?



Ummm,WHAT DO I LEARN FROM THIS MORE LIKE?



ZILCH. Nothing is what i learnt.


so... Balls!


:


Ouch!

Expectation is the mother of self destruction said my once very good friend ... Quite contrary to my own belief ... That expectations, hopes, dreams are in fact the reason we are living. But strangely I only started to understand what he really meant though I am not sure of how healthy it is to practice a bland fire less life ... of course it is fire less ... when one finds no reason to look forward to... no matter the result. But yeah I strangely feel much better when I started to expect less from people ... or say from a situation .... I feel much lighter in the head. It feels as if my happiness depends on me and what I intend to do with the time I have at my disposal.

Well another point I could consider is that I am probably sad at dealing with life's disappointments ands therefore I intend to ignore such feelings so as to spare myself another one of those disasters. But how else would one deal with the situation. I mean who would know how i am dealing with it. Say like my present state is ignoring a very intense feeling of expectations. Is it okay to lose out on it.


Gee! I don't know what I am ranitng 'bout. Do you have a clue. Why do I think so much about stuff that do not in general need that much attention. Or does everyone think this hard. I always want to know what happens in another's head. It is a very interesting study. Don't you think.


Whatever we expect with confidence becomes our own self-fulfilling prophecy. - Brian Tracy

oho!

Life is so constructed that an event does not, cannot, will not, match the expectation. - Charlotte Bronte

WHAT!

:) see what I mean.

I did intend to punch in a poem ... before long but my thoughts do not seem to find coordination ... feelings felt and lost in the moment ... well that is an emotion wasted is it not ...because i am not able to feel an emotion to the entire extent ... the more i try and understand a particular situation the more heated and out of focus i tend to become.

I hope to correct my streams of thoughts before it is too late. First off i need to concentrate more on me before i try and understand another person. Because in a bid to try and and understand another I seem to have given lesser care for what I feel and thereby losing the essential part of being me. It is essential of course to understand another ... but it would be of help only when one knows themselves before setting to ponder on another.

So here I go.

I will hereby try self indulgence( spare me for a couple of days). I intend to do only what i like and not what might please another. I said i will try *wry look*. It seems that when one is happy he/she could be a better human being. By happy I mean *looks confused* ... well today's world is so complex that one can not as much as define a a word "happy" without double checking the true meaning. Well by happy 'I' mean to convey being content i guess ... the inner content and calm ... ease of the mind and the likes. Ergo I hit upon a long term plan to keep my head and it's sanity. I shall be happy doing what i want to do injecting thus a confidence booster and a tonic for happiness .. which will thereby propel a healthy frame of mind and a healthy mind is what I need to serve my people better.

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Writing 'bout his life...
Writing helplessly...
mistakes made again...
the layman grieves...

Life and love darkened...
pained by it endlessly...
mind now but a dark hole...
jinxed to eternity it seems...

On the waking ...
Rested and sublime...
Thoughts laid to sleep...
Unpleasant dreams release...

Lightened he rose...
breaking those shackles of grief...
Misery ebbing....
He plunged into the vibrance with ease...




::: This is a shoddy piece of plagiarized work. A rip of from Rohit's original. *blinks* i customized it to suit my tastes.

But I think i liked it.
I will write one ... but only my spring of creativity is only gurgling tiny amounts of thoughts at the moment :|.
*smiles shamelessly* look i just called myself creative. My plans seems to be working already. I will n shall do what pleases me.

TO HIS AWAKENING

the storms brewing ...

do u hear the screens shivering...

anticipation bleeding...

to snooze the time and the forlorn mind...

grooping in the darkness for wats beyond...
yearning to touch n feel the siphoning emptiness...

craving to redefine wat was there, n that is lost...

to learn... to teach - melt the frost and feel ...

to scream n free the mind away from the numbing corpse...

to gather the body limp and cold... to breath in warmth and a part of my soul...

while the storms brewing...

the nites growing... the magic sets in to his awakening

AT THE BRINK

Mind numb with blunder......
Eyes summoning slumber......
Images flashing......fighting the fender......
Smiles n summer...rain n thunder....
Pain exiting....signing surrender......
A lone tear rolls....a silent reminder......
Tommorow I'd be gone.....i am going under.

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Now playing: Darryl Worley - Awful Beautiful Life
via FoxyTunes

Life would be different if...

Life would be different if ... It is my personal belief that one should stop thinking of how life would be different if... ... ! If we would stop making unrealistic dreams. No! dreams ain't wrong ... one should dream to have a purpose in life ... but then never allow dreams to master our thinking faculties, we should not enslave ourselves in search of our dream, but it should be a mere tool for making our life seem better, by invoking hope, a desire to survive against all odds and an instinct to beat life at it's own game. We should know thus where to draw a line. Mostly all this starts from within you and again everything is interrelated. Lets go from the basics! Why would one want life to be different? Not content with their own lives ...? Now tell me really would your life get any better by hoping on if life would be different ... do we really think that you could do something to change your life ... dats a hard one to argue on sure ... but one thing i have learn't in my time with life is that ... you could hope n dream all you want but life has its own course ... some call it destiny ... gee don like the word ... but tell me ... honestly now!! you put in all your best efforts ... n you still have not made ur impact... effect whatever it is you chose to achieve... would that demotivate us from hoping how to make our lives better of different from what they are now. Therefore do dream of all the "Life wold be different if's" because it is this that gives you direction... a mere tool to set you moving. But beyond that there are other things that rule our lives and our choices.

This is my belief for now ... what life i think has asked me to understand. We can do all we want and hope but life will take it's course. But LIFE WILL BE DIFFERENT IF WE CAN ACCEPT THINGS AS THEY ARE AND HOPE AND WORK TO BETTER IT.

But again everything in life has a ying and yang. Everything has it's two sides. All might be true ... and all could be false but it is what you believe in that sets your path which all ends at the same destination.

Well, so this is going to be my first entry into blogger, and into blogging, this ain't my first blog, had one on xanga *sniff* now i just have a fond memory of my bygone days and my association with it. Frankly speaking I find xanga much more appealing and more persnolised as compared to blogger, but this bland blogging is in attempt to stiffen up my writing, which needs some getting back on the track, to try and bake a cake that is yummy without the icing n cherry! (Cake does taste good, you know even without the icing but well when it's destiny lies in the hands of a cook like myself, you should by all means keep your expecations low.) But now tell me why exactly did I have to take a trip on food and my cooking skills. Well guess working at Google, any attempt on conversation or thoughts would take a stray turn towards food *omg*
Either way, you see wat i mean when i say i need some getting back on track tutoring. Thoughts stray.


-In a bid to get thinking straight
NC